I'm about to get deep.
The other day, I was looking through some pictures I had stashed in a box in my room. It was a mixture of really old pictures from as far back as high school all the way up through some I had printed at Emart in Yeosu in 2013.
I felt nostalgic.
I felt happy.
I felt.... irritated?
I came across a picture of myself with someone who I am no longer friends with. It got me thinking. Why was this picture conjuring negative feelings? That was a fantastic day! I realize that the metaphorical "bad taste in my mouth," in regards t this person, had not yet subsided.
This got me thinking: Why am I allowing the negative feelings to creep in? Why has a good memory turned bad?
This particular picture was from a party in 2007. It was a great party. We all had a great time. Of the four other people in the photo,: 1 faded away, 1 I keep up with via social media, but 2 of them.... It's hard to look at pictures with them and feel anything but annoyed. I had my feelings hurt in a major way by both of them- at the same time. However I felt about them while things were souring, and however I feel about them now... I shouldn't allow those feelings to infect the great memories we made together. It's not fair to me and its not fair to them.
I suppose that no matter how hard any relationship crashes and burns, you owe it to yourself and to the other person to remember the positive. (Granted, sometimes we end relationships with people because there is absolutely nothing positive about them-- and you owe them nothing.) It is NOT doing you any good to think back on good times with the "well, we had fun that day..... but that bitch spread nasty rumors.... so I need to tear up this picture."
I'm not advocating for blanket forgiveness- that is a far more personal process. I'm just making the conscious decision to never let myself to think back on fun times and feel anything but glad/lucky/happy for the memory. That twinge of sadness over the failed friendship will always exist- but I'll never again allow it to go any further than that before I refocus and remember the great day we had.