Monday, June 25, 2012

Back to the future

I don't think the 2013 version of me would have wanted to be friends with the 2000-2011 versions of me.

Looking back, I wasn't really super fun to be around all the time. I know I certainly had my moments, but sometimes I wonder how anyone ever put up with me! I know I like myself a lot more right now than I ever have before. I have a really good perspective on things that went wrong in (what I'll call) my post-formative years. I have learned to let things go a lot faster, I've learned to let go of past hurt, and I've lost the bitterness over tragically-ended friendships.

I DID do a lot of little things wrong during the high school and uni years. I complained a lot and took things too personally. I had a total complex about being left out and I didn't know how to relax and just have a good time. I let other people walk all over me and treat me however they saw fit, and I didn't know how to assert myself in social and professional situations.

Living on my own and having to figure out a lot on my own has had a huge impact on the strengthening of my character. I do have to give quite a bit of credit to a good friend of mine. He was always there to deliver a healthy dose of reality and honesty if ever I needed it. Sometimes it was wrapped nicely and sometimes it was just bluntly thrown in my face (which was definitely necessary with me sometimes).

My new perspective has caused me to be a little concerned over my return back home after Korea. I have loads of friends here, who all know the "now me." How will I be welcomed when I go home? If I were my university friends, I would've given me up at graduation. I can't help but wonder if I'll go home and not have any friends. I can think of people who I would probably have very successful friendships with now, that I wasn't very close with a few years ago. Would those people even give me the time of day? Would I blame them if they didn't? And on the flip of that, I can think of people who I was friends with, who I don't think I would mesh well with anymore.

I think realistically, I don't have too much to worry about. I can always start small and work out from there. I can prove to the people that matter that a positive change has been made, and hopefully work out from there.

On a related front after all that blahblahblah maturity blahblahblah growth...... I know I'm generally waaaay more fun now. If you don't believe me, look at this purchase:

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